TOEFL Writing(２)（托福TOEFL）

　　II. Editorial Comments
　　编者点评

　　1. Original: Furthermore, transportation keeps everything going easily. Revised: Furthermore, transportation keeps everything running smoothly.

　　英语中没有 “going easily” 这种说法。这里作者要表达的意思是“事情进展的比较顺利”，我们可以用 “running smoothly”。请看以下两个例子：

　　＊ Although the car crashed just last week, the mechanic was able to fix it quickly and now it is running smoothly.

　　＊ Although we made some measurement mistakes in our first science experiment, our second one is running smoothly.

　　2. Original: Building a shopping center near where we live may have lots of existent and potential advantages. They go as follows.

　　Revised: Building a shopping center where we live has a lot of potential advantages, such as the following.

　　为了逻辑通顺和语言联贯，由such as 或者 as follows引导的所要列举的一系列事情，应当作为整行句子的一部分，不可以分开为两个句子。以下是几种常用的表示列举的结构：

　　＊ After we moved into our new apartment, I had to buy many new household goods, such as the following: toilet paper, cooking utensils, cleaning supplies, etc.

　　＊ I am in full support of the new legislation for the following reasons.

　　＊ My reasons for studying abroad are as follows.

　　＊ My objections to your decision are listed below.

　　3. Original: If it is up to me to decide whether a shopping center should be built near my apartment, I prefer to build it. Revised: If it were up to me to decide whether or not to build a shopping center near my apartment, I would decide to build it.

　　请注意，在这里由if引导的从句要用虚拟语气，表示与事实相反的动作或状态。例如：

　　If I were a magician, I would not need to study in order to get a perfect score on the TOEFL.

　　通常在“if”、“as if ”、 “as though”、 “lest”、“unless”、 “except”、“until”等等引导的从句中，也要用虚拟语态。例如：
If there were no honey, the flowers and the bees would have never met.

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